What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

who do we all like george goodburn

A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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