What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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every cloud has a silver lining

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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Q: How much dirt is in a hole 3 by 6 by 2 feet? A: There's no dirt, it's a hole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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Hello penis

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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