Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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