Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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why did jimmy loose the bike race. because he never entered.

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Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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