What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

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What did the teacher do? He taught.

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Justin Bieber walked into a strip club. Selena Gomez wasn't there.

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The Blonde walked into a wall.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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Y did the first squarl fall out of the tree? It died Y did the 2nd squarl fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Y did the 3rd squarl fall out of the tree? Peer presure. Why did bobby fall off his bike? He got hit by 3 squarls Y did bobby die? He got run over by a truck:)

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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3 brothers Mohammed, Ahmed and Saahad were on the 09:25 flight from Tehran to New York. They each only carried a rucksack each and a one way ticket. They are Syrian refugees and their parents are dead.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops