- Anti Joke

Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

25

A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

Why? Because.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

A man walks into a bar and gets drink

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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