Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

irish man drinking john smiths

your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

Rush Limbaugh

Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide thus getting to the other side(hell/heaven)

How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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