A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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a christian man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a jewish man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a muslim man asked god a question. he too, did not get an answer. an atheist man asked god a question. he got his answer.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babys taking them out with a pitchfork

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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Q: What can a black man do that a llama can't? A: Walk

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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