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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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