Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Q)what do you call a homless a man ?? A) dunno ask him what his name it (LOL RANDOMZZZ)

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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