What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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