Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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