Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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