what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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This is not a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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