What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Alchohol.

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They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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A man is watching a football game and sees a comercial for a medicine that boosts testosterone levels. However, this man has no issues with his testosterone levels, so he proceeds to watch the rest of the game and then goes to bed.

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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kieran is a homosexual

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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Nothing. He made it home safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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