Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

What happens when a super saiyan eats a fully grown pineapple? hehe xd

Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

what is the difference between a dead baby in a bag and a dead baby hung in the yard....the dead baby hung in the yard was shot down off the cross after being rmr'd

whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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