What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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bangers and mash?

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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