Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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what did the black women name her child jamaal

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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