A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops