A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops