Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

why did the boy fall of his bike He got shot in the face

What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

I went to work today....

what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

guess what>? your mum lol

Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...