What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

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Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops