Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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