A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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I have this friend named Rachel, so I call her Rachel.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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You idiot thats 9 letters

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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