Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops