How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

What's white and looks like paper? Paper

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

What's worse than being a Jew in the Holocaust? Nothing.

Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

What do black people and asians have in common? arms

Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

A Bull walks into a bar. it killed three people by the fact it was a Bull

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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