Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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all these jokes are horrible now

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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