Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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