What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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a jewish guy walks in to a bar says to the bartender says "I have aids" and the jewish man replys "my bad"

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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