A man walks into a bar

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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