What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

^ That's not even funny ^

I'm hungry.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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