What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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You know what's cool? Yep.

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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