What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

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why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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A pope meets another one

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What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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sorry, that was a really bad joke, joking just joking, of course we can chat later, you got something in particular to do?

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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