Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

Connor is such a dope, he doesn't even know Betty White jokes aren't funny.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

Women's Rights Movement

A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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