I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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knock knock go away

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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