Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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cory

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops