A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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