how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Brian: Have you seen my slippers? Louise: What the hell are you doing in myhouse? Help ! Police! Brian: You have amnesia like in that film 50 first dates Louise: What film? I don't remember that Brian: Exactly

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Your mother just died.

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops