What is 9+10? 19

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Verbal assault; because battering someone to death with a dictionary has never been so much fun. [L]

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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The Princess is in another castle

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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salad days!

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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Your mam is so fat.

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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