Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

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A bar walks into a man

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Are you Jamaican? Because your dreadlocked hair is an iconic symbol of one who would be from the country of Jamaica.

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One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

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Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops