Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

Your Mom!!!

New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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