What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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taking out the trash... at night

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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