Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

Q:Why did the boy drop his icecream? A: His arm was chopped off by a ninja

"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

What word starts with a P and ends with an ORN?.......Popcorn sickos!

Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

A man walks into a vagina

Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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