Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

Two muffins are in an oven. Ten minutes later we're enjoying delicious muffins together.

What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

Who wants $300? Me too.

Why was the black guy hanging from the tree? Because he committed suicide because his wife of 20 years left him, is only child hates him and due to the bad economy is job at wall street was terminated.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

What do you call a blue chair A black person

Lil Wayne

Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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