3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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WNBA

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

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Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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