A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops