Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops