what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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What's worse than being a midget Being a midget with no legs

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

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mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

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None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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ure mama's so fat

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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