LO AND BEHOLD!

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A rooster is standing on top of a pointed bird house. He lays an egg. Which side does the egg fall, the left or the right? I don't care, I'm a vegetarian.

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

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What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops