roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops