why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty ha a great fall Hunpty dumpty's skull was split in two

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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Barbara Streisand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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