what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops