Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops