Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Knock, knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

João Duarte reads this.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Tyler Bishop is a waffle

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops