SUCK MY NUTS

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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