What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

thumb_up thumb_down -30

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

No!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops